MissUndercity

RHOM: Season 3 Reunion Wrap Up…I kno it’s late…so what! Welcome to Miami!

Due to the necessary intake of ibuprophen this season I wouldn’t be surprized if a biopsy of my liver got confused with one from Ramona Singer…

This season we were treated to an especially pitch perfect form of torture: Week after week of Adriana DeMoura and Lea Black yelling at each other.

Awesome.

WTF was that shit between Lisa and Joanna?!?

I really miss Lisa, Joanna and Kerent as the three musketeers.

RHOM Joanna Krupa and Karent Sierra lock Lisa Hochstein in the bathroom

Shit like this is what makes the housewives fun!

It was like Joanna thought…that if she made people question Lisa’s past they’d stop questioning hers.  Sorry sweetheart, that’s not how it works…but bonus points to Lisa for knowing what an Internet Troll is!

Why did I get the feeling Lea was planting seeds to keep the girls at each other?! Hm.

Loved Lea this season!

I do give Lea mad credit for standing her ground this season…I would have too.  Adriana’s only mad at herself because she thought she didn’t need Lea anymore and she had no idea how powerful Lea was…and Lea’s not stupid as fuck to be fooled by crocodile tears, public opinion or begging.  Sorry Adriana, you’re cut off…time to find a new mark (RUN LISA RUN!).

RHOM Season 3 reunion adriana jumps in on an argument between Lisa and Joanna

Your time is up, go home (and leave Lisa alone…she’s too sweet to be caught up in your game).

Adriana was so out of her league fucking with Leah…and we saw it with the preemptive trip to visit her Texas family/friends.  She knew Adriana was going to go after her past and she very smartly nipped that shit in the bud…all while inviting neutral Lisa to tell the story…nice work Lea.

Although…

I wouldn’t be surprised if Lea’s secretly backing the society blocking Lisa’s Star Island house renovation…remember Lea wanted the house but no one would sell it to her?  Makes you think.

RHOM Lisa and Leni bubble bath

Thank you Lisa and Leni for not adding another awkward hot tub scene to the Real Housewives franchise. I’m not being facetious, it was actually cute!

This basically tells me the Hochsteins > the Blacks in Miami society…hence why Lea is close to Lisa.  Lea needs Lisa, she’s just very good at making it look like everything’s the other way around.

Who cares if you work…

Were these bitches seriously arguing about who works?  Yes.  Yes they were.  WHAT SHOW ARE YOU ON?!?!?!  Come on.

Joanna does deserve some manner of credit, she was on Dancing With the Stars BEFORE the Real Housewives.  She’s self made…the hard way (pick your own definition of ‘hard’ but until I see proof it’s all haters talking shit on the internet…).

I think all she wants is for someone to acknowledge this…and I’m pretty sure the Real Housewives is the worst place to seek a pat on the back for one’s work ethic.

RHOM Season 3 Reunion with Marysol

Watching the Real Housewives argue about work is like watching the Bad Girls Club try to explain Schrödinger’s Cat…

Look, most of you married your money.  Period.  Get over it.  The sooner you stop trying to sell us something other than reality the easier you’ll sleep at night (because we’re not buying it, silly)….at least Lisa owns it.

And no, all your ‘swag’ doesn’t count as a job.  Deal with it.

Just because I can get M&M’s that say MissUndercity doesn’t mean I’m fucking Willy Wonka (haha that sounds sticky), stop taking yourselves so damn seriously and get on with laughing your happy ass all the way to the bank.  Shit.

Alexia vs Joanna and Lisa

For a coked up 80’s club kid who drinks with her son you sure have quite the monumental stick up your ass!

You want to analogize behavior…how about you compare yourself to Lisa and Joanna at THEIR AGE…and let the girls have their bachelorette party you silly cow.

RHOM Alexis deadbeat adult child Peter

All the resources…no drive. Part of me thinks he really needs treatment for depression. There’s something missing like there’s an elephant in the room at his house during family dinner that no one touches with a ten foot pole…and it drives him nuts.

Lea controls Alexia through Herman.  It’s funny to watch.  I don’t think Herman’s controlling, I think Herman doesn’t want his wife embarrassing him on a show watched by his business associates.

More Deadbeat Adult Children

Oh Alexia, our blonder, taller version of Caroline Manzo…Alexia, darling, Egypt called, they want their river back.

I could turn your euphemisms into a drinking game, acting surprised at his behavior must be a full time job (so I guess Alexia DOES work…HAHA).

Really, it’s unfair to expect Peter to grow up when Alexia won’t let him.

RHOM Alexias son Peter gives shocker in picture with mom his facebook

Those knuckles…also, shocker? Ur doin’ it wrong.

Image Source.

Peter could rent a white beach house, throw a party, paint the whole thing purple at three in the morning and Alexia would invent a story about how the house was originally purple and the colour was bleeding through due to Miami humidity.  #girlbye

Lea vs Marysol

Ok, first of all, let me state that it’s very obvious Lea Black pulls the strings on RHOM…and maybe that’s why the show’s failing.  Go hard at Lea and you’re going home.

RHOM Marysol yells at Lea youre louder than your dress

“You’re louder than your dress!”

All it amounts to is:

Marysol hates the fuck out of Lea and hates the fuck out of the fact that Lea and Mama Elsa have a great relationship.  Mama Elsa and Lea are close and Marysol tried to use her mother’s hospitalization to ruin that relationship by telling everyone but Lea the truth about how bad it was.

…which was pretty FUCKED UP…and I couldn’t be happier that it backfired.

RHOM Lea Black go suck a lemon land line

Hermes leather wrap bracelets? Fuck yes please!!!

I think next season might be the last, and I think Lea knows it too…hence the overnight web presence, insane marketing and product hawking…she realized it’s not going to last forever and she was so caught up in all the drama she almost went home with nothing!

What will save the show?

Balance out Lea with an equally powerful Miami native…feature Lisa’s parties more…get rid of the scam artist and the blonde Manzo.

P.S.  Marta, thanks for following my advice.  BFE Pennsylvania is probably the best place to ‘RUN’ to (if you don’t want anyone to follow, that is…) HA!

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