MissUndercity

RHOM: Adrianas Wedding Drama Clarified, The Difference between a Marriage Licence and Marriage Certificate and Why Leah is so Mad

The whole Real Housewives of Miami plot this season revolves around the fact that Adriana deMoura Sidi has apparently been married to Frederic Marq since 2008.

First of all, let me start by saying she almost fooled me…but not quite.  It sucks ’cause I really liked Adriana until she got all crazy jealous over Joanna.  How do you hate a supermodel who loves puppies?  Shit.

RHOM Adriana stupid prada sunglasses

…just when I was wondering who the fuck would buy this stupid pair of sunglasses…

I don’t believe for one second she attended Sorbonne University in Paris…and when her website says she “studied Italian Art in Florence, Italy”  I think “stared at David’s junk for 30 minutes at the museum in Florence” is probably a more accurate assessment of her Italian art education.

So here’s what you want to know but annoyingly enough, no one is telling you

…and why Lea is so pissed off and hurt.

How a Marriage License Works in the United States

  1. A couple applies for a marriage license.
  2. A couple takes the marriage license to the person who will perform the ceremony.
  3. After the ceremony the person who performed it, the couple and at least one witness sign the license.
  4. The person who performed the ceremony submits the fully executed (fancy way of saying signed lol) marriage license to the courthouse.
  5. The completed marriage license is filed at the courthouse and a marriage certificate is issued and mailed to the couple.
  6. The couple lives happily ever after…

Requirements for a marriage license depend on the state in which a couple applies…hence why a marriage in Las Vegas is much easier than a marriage in Maine or Connecticut…

A marriage license does not mean one is married.  A marriage license means that one CAN get married in the period of time before the license expires (again determined by the state issuing the license).  If a couple does not get married before the license expires they have to reapply for a new license.

…sooooooooo

Adriana and Frederic applied, TOGETHER, for a MARRIAGE LICENSE in November of 2008.  Approximately one month later in December of 2008 a MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE was issued to the couple.  Adriana and Frederic will celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary in December of 2013.  Period.

Why Lea is Upset

Lea’s husband is a lawyer and she’s not stupid as hell.  Adriana is riding the public’s general misunderstanding of the difference between a marriage license and marriage certificate, muddying the waters with distractions and personal accusations against everyone who tries to clarify the situation on the show.

Lea does not want to see Adriana “six feet under” or wish her any other manner of ill will.  Lea feels used…like Jill Zarin at the hands of Bethenny Frankel type used…and is hurt about it.

RHOM Lea Black go suck a lemon

Lea Black talking on a land line…is officially one of my favorite things.

Lea believed Adriana was single.  Lea set Adriana up on dates with her rich friends.  Lea paid Adriana’s son’s back tuition at a private school.  Lea gave Adriana a home.  Those pictures of Adriana with United States President Obama and other politicians on the Bravo website were taken at parties where Adriana was a GUEST OF LEA’s…

Lea is hurt because all the while she thought she was helping Adriana overcome her fear of trust, commitment and relationships Adriana was actually married to a millionaire!

And to top it off Adriana called Lea’s son “socially awkward”…who cares if it’s true or not…who attacks their OWN SON’s best friend?

To say that I’d be pissed if I were Lea is probably the understatement of the century!

Oh hell here’s my theory…

Here’s what I think really happened.

Adriana either

  1. Met Frederic, fell in love with him and married him but quickly realized that she had more to gain by pretending to be single in Miami…
  2. Met Frederic, fell in love with him and married him but quickly realized that she could probably snag a richer guy if she followed Lea around…
  3. Really has been “single” the whole time but made a deal with Frederic to marry for 4 years to get him a green card…in exchange for compensation…and unfortunately for her it’s less punitive at this point to pretend she loves Frederic than to actually expose the green card scheme…HA

At first Adriana thought she could use Lea to set her up with someone richer than Frederic but when that didn’t work, Real Housewives of Miami fell into her lap and she realized that if she made it look like her and Frederic had a relationship that blossomed on the show she could probably get a wedding Spin Off.

RHOM Adrianna Lying to Lisa

Adrianna sells her story to Lisa…it’s a new and improved story that also has no connection to reality.

Adrianna and Lea are BOTH from Plano, Texas.  I don’t know if they knew each other before Miami but I don’t doubt for a SECOND if Lea wanted to completely shatter Adrianna’s façade she could do so with one phone call.

That being said, I don’t think Lea had anything to do with exposing Adriana in the tabloids…Adriana’s just ready to cast Lea off and look for a new mark so she’s trying to kill Lea’s relevance on RHOM.

So I suck at re-telling stories so here’s exact quotes of what Adriana told Lisa:

Adriana: Frederic went by himself and applied for the license.

Lisa: Wait, you don’t have to apply together?

Adriana: It was so long ago I don’t remember details.  SO he applied for the license, in the mean time, you know I’m going on with the wedding plans.  And I want a f-…a good friend of mine, not an ordained priest to perform the ceremony.

Lisa: Ok.

Adriana: And because I wanted her to do it, I had to actually *snaps fingers* have the signing of a justice of the peace before the ceremony, you know what I mean, because otherwise my wedding wouldn’t be legal.

Lisa: Ok.

…Lisa Hochstein, our closet genius!

I love how Lisa handles this.  She knows Adriana’s full of shit, she also knows she doesn’t want to fight with anyone and basically just wants to have fun on the show…so she smiles and nods until she has a chance to change the subject.

RHOM Lisas not buying it face

“Bitch I know you lyin’…”  Lisa’s not buying what Adriana’s selling…but she also knows Adriana has no real friends outside the show…so she holds out for the inevitable bridesmaid invite HA.

Lisa, I may have underestimated you.  Very nice work.

I always say don’t interrupt someone when they’re lying to you…because you want to know exactly what they look like while they’re doing it.

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2 comments on “RHOM: Adrianas Wedding Drama Clarified, The Difference between a Marriage Licence and Marriage Certificate and Why Leah is so Mad

  1. Pepper
    October 4, 2013

    Thank you for this insightful and well-informed breakdown. When Adriana begins to speak my brain dies a little bit. When she continues to speak my head spins and I have to leave the room to have a lie down- by the end of the shrieking I am just too exhausted to make heads or tails of what just happened and I am left with blind rage to deal with. I read a lot of the other websites post-show break downs but I look forward to yours the most MissUndercity!

    • MissUndercity
      October 6, 2013

      Thank you, so glad you enjoy my posts!!!! Adriana thinks she talks faster than her audience can think…and that if she makes a mistake that no one will notice. Silly girl…Lisa’s smarter than her but her hubris won’t let her see it.

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