RHONJ: The Deadbeat Manzo Kids are Lazy and Carolines Safety Net parenting is Annoying as Hell!

So damn tired of these RHONJ Manzo kids.  Go away.  Please.  You’re annoying, spoiled and the fact that your mom is in denial about it only makes it harder to watch.  Ew.

This show has made me realize that kids are a shitty ass investment…if you’re a self absorbed parent with an inability to see the big picture, that is.

Every season Caroline’s throwing money into the wind hoping that her lazy ass kids will somehow catch a dollar and figure out how to parasail!

RHONJ Chris and Albie Manzo ages 2013

Christopher and Albie Manzo have had more career changes before 30 than a gypsy king!

No, it’s not like that!

Let me be clear, I don’t hate the Manzo kids or think they’re stupid as fuck…quite the opposite in fact.  They’ve figured out that as long as they pitch it to Mom like they’re starting a business they’ve got an unlimited safety net.

They’ve truly mastered the, “I’m trying to make a name for myself, please invest in my future, Mom!” look…instead of the, “Give me money for a sports car and a condo” demand…and Caroline’s a sucker every time.

This just about disqualifies her for every aspect of parenting advice…EVER.

What are you really teaching them?

There’s no consequence for their shitty inability to follow through.  Every time a business venture fails oh, here’s Mama Manzo with more money (hello there alliteration, it’s been a while hasn’t it my love!) so they can try something new!

RHONJ Chris, Lauren and Albie Manzo in 2011

The three Manzo kids attend a party in 2011. Source: Michael Loccisano/Getty Images North America

Image Source.

…Ooooh Albie’s going to become a lawyer!  No, wait, he’s going to become a police officer!  No, hang on a minute…he’s going to be a marketing executive.  Holy shitballs now he’s managing a restaurant.


He’s not qualified to do any of that shit and the fact that you keep shoving down a viewer’s throat that somehow he’s worked his ass off to achieve any of this is pretty hard for me to swallow.

Also, can we please put a moratorium on the word “fight” as a replacement for “work hard” in reality television?  Just because you’re a “fighter” doesn’t mean you get to skip reading a book.  Learn how to do it right and you wouldn’t have to “fight”…

Common sense eludes them in the face of a seemingly quick buck and that’s why they’ll fail every time.

…who the FUCK will want to drink BLACK WATER marketed out of New Jersey.

No, seriously…anyone with an OUNCE of education (or just common sense, really) wouldn’t have touched that investment with a TEN FOOT POLE.

RHONJ Blk water marketing or Star Wars I cant tell...

…If Star Wars was still owned by George Lucas there’d be a red hot cease and desist letter about this…knowing Disney they’ll prolly license these jerks to use Darth Vader on the bottle.

Thankfully Caroline (albeit unintentionally) sets the record straight:

———->”For the past two years the boys have worked hard to establish BLK but they’re not seeing the revenue to pay themselves, you know, as they’d like…the Littletown Restaurant gives them the opportunity to draw a salary…”

Read that again.  It’s exactly what you think it is.  …except for that “worked hard” part, I think we all saw how “hard” they were working on BLK last season (ha).

Oh, and for the record, all the branding and marketing is done by a firm called “BrandFire” in New York, NOT the Manzos…

The elusive six-figure no show job…

The problem is that these kids want to start a business and then draw a six figure (USD) salary while paying everyone else minimum wage to run it.

In giving them money for every business venture Caroline thinks she’s making them work for success…instead she’s like the ultimate investor in everyone’s failed get rich quick scheme.

She would have done better to invest the money with a real entrepreneur with a REAL business plan and then just give her deadbeat adult children a fucking trust fund off of the returns.


RHONJ Rich Wakile is officially the most embarassing dad ever

Here’s a picture of Rich Wakile putting his finger in the mouth of a patient dummy at his daughter’s nursing school.

On to the restaurant…

“Ginger, Tabasco, Onions, NICE!”  (ginger and tabasco sauce, really?)

…I’m not sure about Little Town, is it a franchise and they own the NJ one?  There’s one in Union Square (NY) and I’m pretty sure it’s independent of the Manzo kids…but they’re both on the same website so idunno.

What I DO know is that if it fails they’ll blame the poor chef, who is probably underpaid and accepting of this because of the camera time on RHONJ…

…not knowing that these shit bags could throw him under the bus at any time because it’s their show…(and ruin his career) regardless of the legitimacy of his work…

A final word

…maybe the Manzo kids aren’t lazy, maybe they don’t have a nonexistent work ethic (double negative, I know), maybe they just look bad because their mom over represents their role in everything on tv (because really the Manzo boys look little more than spokes-models regarding the Blk Water thing).

You know what Caroline?  I’d respect you a shit ton more (than not at all HA) if you just said, “my kids aren’t geniuses but they’re MY KIDS and I’ll support them in anything they do”


Because that’s exactly what’s going on here.


2 comments on “RHONJ: The Deadbeat Manzo Kids are Lazy and Carolines Safety Net parenting is Annoying as Hell!

  1. pk
    October 18, 2013

    Such a stupid jealous comment. Anyone who’s trying gets credit as far as I’m concerned. Dont suppose you made your millions from writing.

  2. randall
    August 5, 2015

    Article was right on target. “Know it all” Caroline on everyone else’s biz, but is clueless with her own children. Same denial when her current husband’s father was found dead, naked and tied up in the trunk of his car. She called it another random act of violence. Ya, when you’re in the mob, it is.

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