MissUndercity

RHONJ: Kim D is the Slade of RHONJ, Kathy vs Theresa and Rosie acting like a wannabe Andy Capp?

Think about it, every season…no matter the plot, Kim D is hanging off of one of the Real Housewives…HA.

I really wish the women in this show would OWN THEIR SHIT.  It’d be 100 times more entertaining!

Never noticed before but Kathy is actually kind of pretty:

RHONJ Kathy Wakile is actually kind of pretty

Kathy’s (or is it Kathie, Cathie or Cathy oh hell) so over it…the drama between her mother and uncle that is…I’m going to say that there’s more to this than meets the eye and that maybe Theresa’s dad or Kathy’s mom did something unforgivable to the rest of the family…because everyone seems at odds in a serious, “they’re dead to me” kind of way…

Theresa Guidice would be 20% cooler if…

If Theresa just came straight out and said,

———->”I hate the ever loving FUCK out of my sister-in-law, I don’t think she’s good enough for my brother and he treats her better than my own husband treats me, plus she had the first boy grandson and I’m fucking bitter about it!”

I’d buy 10 of everything with her name on it (and donate it to charity because I’m so not into any of that stuff…lol but you get the point!)

Teresa’s father a coward?

Kathy was in her right mind when she called Theresa’s father a coward.  Period.

She might feel bad about it because it’s driven a wedge between her relationship with Theresa but really, was it that comment that caused the rift or was it the excuse Theresa was waiting for to write Kathy off?

I’m inclined to go with the latter.

RHONJ Theresa Guidice is mad at Kathy

Theresa’s got a legitimate reason to be pissed…but I’m not so sure this is the real reason she hates Kathy so much…it’s just the most palatable one to the audience.

That’s not saying Kathy was right but for her to back pedal so damn hard on something that she knows to be true is hardcore obnoxious.

It’s clear everyone knows Theresa is full of shit but her parents have thrown their lot in with her.  They do everything in their power to make her look good because her and her husband have sold to them that they’re the most successful of the offspring.

Shit.  If you didn’t speak the language of the country you’ve been living in for 40 years (just a guess), were facing ill health and had two children to choose between what would you do?  Especially if one was always in your ear whispering…

Kim D is the Slade Smiley of RHONJ!

I can’t believe I didn’t see this sooner!

Theresa, please, consider your friends.  Kim D?  Really?  Think about it (I can’t believe I just said that…HA ok that was mean…but I’m still laughing…oh hell).

What do you two really talk about?  Sunsets?  The stars?  The Higgs Boson particle?

Or is it every time you’re together she acts like Gia when she wants to buy age inappropriate clothing (ie…talks shit about Melissa Gorga).

RHONJ Kim D yells at Melissa while Theresa laughs and Kathy looks on

Kim D in an ill fitting dress (holy shit girl where do you buy your hair?  ew.) yells at Melissa (in an ill fitting top) about something that’s none of her business while Theresa (who looks fabulous) and Kathy (in a shirt stolen from the set of Interview with the Vampire) look on. Theresa’s got the biggest shit eating grin, hasn’t she…HA!  God I wish she’d just own it…

Image source.

Darling, please don’t surround yourself with vultures in your success…you are the second most compensated “real housewife” and that counts for something in the eyes of scavengers…

Honestly, I don’t worry for Theresa vis a vis Kim D ’cause the second Lady Slade starts to overstep her bounds I don’t doubt for one minute that Theresa will forget about her…(and Kim D knows it, that’s why she kisses Theresa’s ass so hard, all she wants is camera time…)

…but there’s something to be said for ‘birds of a feather flock together’…and Theresa’s better than Kim D.

…the minute Theresa casts Kim D aside is the minute Lady Slade starts trying to be friends with Melissa or Jacqueline.  Not joking.  Vultures are loud and predictable.

A Word about Rosie’s Overcompensation…

Dear Rosie, what the heck was with your little scotch monologue?

RHONJ Rosie Pierri drinks her scotch with ice and a pinkie in the air

“I’m not fuckin’ Amish. I like smokin’ a cigarette and drinkin’ a scotch…I’m like ‘hey bro, u got some moonshine back there?'”

People who drink scotch on ice while pretending they’re all about scotch and manliness do so because they read in some shitty men’s magazine that it’s the “manly classy” thing to do.

No, it’s not.  Period.

You just look stupid.

Ice shuts out the bouquet, destroys the nose, ruins the flavor and as far as tasting is concerned it’s truly abhorrent.

Look, I’m not saying that you HAVE to drink scotch neat to like scotch…but I AM saying if you’re going to act like you’re ALL ABOUT scotch pls at least know something about it. (ehem, Mauricio…ugh)

Please stop trying so hard, I like you because you’re too cool for that shit…don’t prove me wrong!

RHONJ Rosie Pierri trying her best to look like Andy Capp inset

…10 seconds after looking effeminate in the first frame (above this one…) Rosie overcompensates by assuming her Andy Capp posture…/groan

Darling Rosie,

You don’t have to overplay masculine stereotypes to be taken seriously, prove that you mean business or show that you’re, “one of the guys” above all the girlie drama…just be yourself!

You’re dangerously close to turning yourself into a caricature.

Please don’t…I actually LIKE you!

Kathy’s Quiet Wisdom…

“I wish them both the best, I wish them both reconciliation but I tried, many times; and I don’t want to put myself in that middle again because then I’m the bad guy…I think the more time that you allow to get between you, the more time you learn to live without each other.”

Wow, Kathy’s spot on…I think SHE deserves a radio show and a book deal!

Kathy is what Caroline Manzo wishes she was.  If only Kathy realized it…

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