I’ve been following this show with the same degree of loyalty a politician shows his wife…in other words, I abandon it for a while and pay attention to more interesting things and then when I’m bored off my ass I overdose on trying to make up for lost time.
That being said a few things have happened in watching this…because, you see, I’ve also watched every episode of the Bad Girls Club ever (yeah, I know…that’s a whole lot of drunk strippers. Strangely, I’m ok with this) so I have a few observations:
Pleasantly Surprised by Natalie Nunn
In her season Natalie Nunn was annoying as hell, stupid as hell and all sorts of other things that could be amplified by adding, “as hell” to the suffix (yes, suffix indicates the end of a contiguous word…just roll with me here).
In Bad Girls All Star Battle Natalie Nunn is smart, funny and fully aware of how much she gets on everyone’s last nerve…taking advantage of that fact to hop up and down mercilessly on it like Alexis Bellino’s trampoline park in Chula Vista (not San Diego…HA!)!
Unlike her season of Bad Girls Club, on which Miss Nunn was basically a hot mess grasping at anything to be the center of attention (attacking a domestic abuse victim on Twitter? Really?), this time around she’s clearly watched herself and perfected the art.
She officially is what she wishes she was on her BGC season. It’s like a FULLY REALIZED Natalie, serving fresh Nunn realness…
Grats to you Natalie, I have a new degree of respect for you and your twerk.
Equally Disappointed by Flo
Girl, what the fuck is wrong with you? That last episode was a page straight out of the “People Pleaser’s Guide to Being a Stupid Fucking Doormat” no, that’s not a real book…I made it up (but if Melissa Gorga’s going to write one, this is what it SHOULD be called…shit).
Anyone on the sentient side of a coma would have put up Jennifer & Natalie or Danni & Gabbi but you went outside, grandstanded for a good 5 min (I’ll invoice you for my time later) and flipped a coin.
You won’t win. You basically SENT HOME THE ONLY PERSON THAT WOULD HAVE HAD YOUR BACK. Now you’re in a house with four people who want you to go home. Idiot.
Poor Judi, She’s Pure, Honest and always gets screwed.
I love the FUCK out of Judi. She’s just looking for ONE person not to be a fucking asshole.
She’s not crazy, she’s real and totally herself in every single scene. Sure, a lot of what she does isn’t for me but it IS her…and she owns it so that gets a big ass gold star in my book!
WOAH WOAH WOAH…Let me be clear here…This DOES NOT MEAN that you need to show your junk at the club in order to be free, liberated or secure in yourself…c’mon.
Judi is a ‘Bad Girl’ because she doesn’t act like one thing when people are watching and another behind closed doors.
The whole show is full of insecure girls who are afraid to be themselves until they identify with a clique. From the beginning Judi was always Judi…voodoo doll and everything.
Judi is a Creole Queen and I think out of this show she truly deserves awesomeness.
Quick word about Julie Ofcharski
I hate the way this chick talks. The whole wannabe baby/valley girl Paris Hilton voice went out in 2009. It’s not funny or cute it’s just annoying…unless it’s part of your strategy to make everyone think you’re stupid while you run the show. Sadly, as far as Julie’s concerned, this isn’t the case.
That being said, Julie was actually funny on her BGC season…and I agree with her about dolphins. She should seriously consider partnering with a good vector artist to release an infographic type book about dolphins as jerks. I’d buy it, dolphins are assholes. Cute, smart grinning little assholes.
…but on All Star Battle she’s just annoying and spent all her time sulking and talking shit. Way to win. Not.
About Master Manipulators….
There’s a very easy way to tell the difference between a wannabe and a true mastermind. The wannabe still wants you to know she’s smart…the mastermind realizes that being underestimated is part of strategy.
This is not to say that Flo and Natalie are the picture of genius…but there is something to be said for experience.
A true master manipulator doesn’t say, “Look at me, I’m the master manipulator!” (like that annoying ass hipster couple on Wedding Wars like 100 years ago…god that chick sooooo self congratulatory! Guess what, she didn’t win…HA!)
Julie is so bloody insecure that she doesn’t waste any time trying to tell everyone how smart she is, how ugly everyone else is and how much she’s the HBIC (Head Bitch in Charge…lol).
Well let me just say right here…there are some things in this world for which the very existence of a label negates their validity…here’s a short list:
Hey, I’m not knocking anyone, that’s just the way it is. I didn’t invent the rules.
I think Margaret Thatcher said it best:
As much as she’s annoying, Flo plays a good game and I give her credit for beating that Ofcharski girl at her own game but in the immortal words of the internet, “she done fucked up”…
The eliminations will go as follows:
***Update 03 July, I was wrong, Natalie just went home, I overestimated Jennifer, I thought she would have seen through Flo’s game. She didn’t…if I was her I would have gotten rid of Flo before Natalie because Flo is stronger and won like ALL the challenges but /meh***
Flo played a good game and had a good reason for wanting the money (although didn’t she get a wedding special? anyway…) but she’s in a house with 4 other people who want her gone and she’s got no one to thank but herself. She won’t survive long.
I also fully expect them to pull one of those “surprise voting things” in the final episode…
(like that dream wedding show where that little sociopath played a good game but didn’t win ’cause everyone she fucked over came back to vote for the winner…hang on I have to google it…*insert Jeopardy music here*…10min later…BRIDALPLASTY! That’s it…lol. Crazy show.)
The two finalists will face all the eliminated girls and the winner of the Bad Girls All Star Battle to be decided in a vote.
They will all vote for Jennifer, who is fighting for financial stability in order to prove to the court that she can provide for her younger brother currently on parole in a halfway house (I think…that’s what it sounds like but I’m not sure…).
Jennifer Hardwick will win.
I was also rooting for Flo until she did Judi dirty. That shit ain’t cool. Natalie’s funny but she don’t need the money…and the Victor twins are just annoying as hell so go go Jennifer, win that money!