MissUndercity

RHOC: Tamra Barney’s growing pains, women’s empowerment…and the worst bachelorette party ever

Tamra Barney, you’re finally growing up, you’re feeling empowered, you’re finally admitting reality to yourself and becoming self aware…oh and your friends all hate each other, you’re engaged to a guy you’ve already outgrown and your bachelorette party featured more bickering than partying…

For the first time in like EVER I think I feel sorry for Tamra.  If I stop writing it’s because at some point in time I may or may not have told someone to kill me if I ever said that…

anyway…

It looks like Gretchen was more trying to impress Heather and get her Gretchen Christine products on screen (like Bethenney Frankel did in that ‘scary island’ episode of RHONY like 100 years ago…it’s a tacky as fuck ambush endorsement tactic…and I’m glad Kelly Bensimon called her out on it) than actually plan a party for Tamra.

Having Gretchen and Heather throw your bachelorette party reminds me of the side-plot in a mean girls high school movie…you know, the one where the main girl has a falling out with her REAL friends and all of a sudden replaces them with new friends with whom she has NOTHING in common but tries to act like they’ve totally filled in the real friends’ spot by inviting THEM to go shopping for prom dresses only to realize that she has nothing in common with them and she misses her true friends…

It’s LAME that Gretchen and Vicki turned the whole thing into a contest instead of trying to band together to show Tamra a bitchin good time.  It’s like saying, I’m going to sew my friend a wedding dress…well my friend’s other friend is a professional dressmaker but I hate her so I’m not going to ask her help.

Really?  There is no “E” for “Effort” when it comes to bachelorette parties or wedding dresses…you put yourself aside and focus on what’s best for your friend.  Period.

Yes, I’m saying Real Housewives of Orange County is a real life mean-girls acted out by middle aged adolescents…yes, I know I say that a lot.  Hear that?  It’s the sound of no one disagreeing with me….HA!

Tamra’s self discovery (I apologize for the mental image…it’s not like that, I promise)…

…except Tamra is beginning to actually find herself.  Kudos Tamra…congratulations on taking the first steps towards self awareness.

I can almost see Tamra beginning to outgrow Eddie…(not the show, she’s still a shameless attention whore…now she just might be better at owning it…ok maybe that’s too much too soon…) but she’s already signed all these contracts for a wedding spin-off and is probably getting a Cat 797 full of free shit.

Caterpillar 797 parked next to a regular SUV for size reference.

This is a Cat 797. It is a big ass dump truck used in mining operations. It’s tires cost $43,000 USD each. No, I’m not joking.

If they make it past the 5 year mark I’ll put ice in my scotch. (the horror!)  …and I mean five REAL years, none of this living apart shit, like “oh he had to work in another country for a year” that shit don’t count.  Five contiguous years of cohabitation.  I fucking dare them.

I’m really impressed that she sat down with Alexis to (although I did notice that she never actually said, “sorry”  mmmhmm) acknowledge her pain.

That’s all Alexis wanted and instead of making a career out of denying her of it (like Kyle does to Kim on RHOBH…ugh) it’s a testament to Tamra’s growth that she realized it’s no sweat off her ass to acknowledge reality instead of perpetuating the tension through passive aggressive feigned ignorance (what? I have no idea what you’re talking about!)…!

I think she really just wants to be friends with Lydia and knows that the whole “I’m going to talk shit about your friend until you have no choice but to choose between me and her” thing isn’t going to work on Lydia like it did on Gretchen…yea, I said it.

Oh, and for the record, it’s not called “women’s empowerment” it’s called “growing the fuck up”…

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2 comments on “RHOC: Tamra Barney’s growing pains, women’s empowerment…and the worst bachelorette party ever

  1. Bethany
    June 28, 2013

    Her name is Tamra. I’m sorry, it probably just autocorrected to Tamara. My brain is just a punctuation asshole though. Great blog, though. I thoroughly enjoy your break downs of the housewives. Thanks for posting.

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