RHOV: Amanda Hansen’s boobs steal the show and Jody Claman’s couture cat food

HAHA I actually boycotted a WHOLE FUCKING SEASON of Top Chef USA because I’d heard Queen Moron Jody Claman was going to be a guest judge.

Turns out it was just Top Chef Canada.  ROFL, bloody hell.

I mean if they start a show called Top Catfood and Jody’s head judge you bet your ass I’ll watch EVERY SINGLE EPISODE because that bitch can market the fuck out of some catfood, but human food?  No thank you.

RHOV Jody Claman cat food

Oh, you thought I was joking?

After Mia Claman’s fake clothing line fashion show last season…

…she showed dresses by L.A. based USA designer Blaque Label as her own “M.I.A. by Claman Couture” designs…

I wouldn’t be surprized if Jody ripped all her human recipes off of Good Housekeeping magazine from the 1960’s.

In other news, best way to tell if someone’s had plastic surgery?

Meet a non-augmented member of their family.  I give you Exhibit A:  Amanda Hansen’s sister

RHOV Amanda Hansen and her sister

Going to go out on a limb here and say that our little Lemmiwinks has had a few procedures…

Amanda…another pseudo-surgical procedure with Ronnie and Jody?  Yawn.  Everytime your flaccid gluteus maximus came into focus I was forced to avert my eyes.

Confronting Mary at Doctor Buttlift’s party?  Lame.  You’re supposed to be crawling OUT of Jody Claman’s asshole, not deeper into it!

If it weren’t for your fabulous (albeit surgically altered) rack, you’d have left me in a coma this week.

Shit, Vancouver’s no San Diego…aren’t you cold?

RHOV Amanda Hansen's boobs steal the show

Wait, aren’t you at a party hosted by a doctor specializing in buttlifts? If I didn’t know any better I’d say this is bad form…come on.

Oh, and NEWSFLASH…I get that you play the whole ‘passive aggressive dig’ game…but Ioulia Reynolds isn’t having it.

Love the fuck out of Ioulia.  She’s that girl who won’t let anything slide.  Good-luck Amanda, you think you’re going to get some snide comment over on this one and make yourself feel better by following up in confessional with some Russian stereotype and having Jody follow suit…NOPE!

RHOV Ioulia calls Amanda out as Jody and Robin watch

“I’ve been nothing but nice to you!” Ioulia calls Amanda out on her passive aggressive digs…fuckyea Ioulia!

Although, I wonder to which degree Jody is beginning to find herself up Amanda’s ass…sure, it could be just Jody trying to manipulate Amanda (see! we both think Ioulia is a Russian hooker! omg!)…but I think Jody’s not so dumb as to fail to sense her own fading relevance.

Oh, and Jody verbally attacked Mary Zilba again in a public place…again…*yawn*.

I’m going to go ahead and say that Jody Claman ISN’T CRAZY and all this hate is a carefully planned preemptive strike against Mary…who knows enough about Jody’s past to raise eyebrows at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch (spoiler alert, it’s a brothel).

On the preview for next week Amanda says, “Oh my god, if someone doesn’t stop this Texas brown-nosing I am going to puke!”

RHOV Amanda is lemmiwinks meets sparrow prince

Looks like this week the Sparrow Prince scared the fuck out of our Lemmiwinks…Amanda scurried deeper up Jody Claman’s ass…boring.

…hmm…either Amanda’s hating the competition…or she’s inches closer to growing a spine of her own and exiting Jody Claman’s asshole!  You can do it Lemmiwinks, I still believe in you!


One comment on “RHOV: Amanda Hansen’s boobs steal the show and Jody Claman’s couture cat food

  1. Ashlee Casey
    April 12, 2013

    Hysterical, thanks for the laughs!

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