Honey Booboo Haters and the Fortress of Toilet Paper

I get it, fat white poor people are supposed to be invisible.  You aren’t supposed to see them except for in Wal-Mart at 3am when you’re taking anonymous pictures for some shitty hipster blog.

Some people’s idea of fun: taking semi-blurry pictures of fat people buying groceries…

I want to read the news story about a Wal-Mart shopper that catches someone taking their picture…


The truth is that many people who hate Honey Booboo hate her because they are seeing their own living conditions mirrored on television.  Vile behavior is seemingly acceptable when presented in the aspirational form of a 12,000 square foot house and a shiny new pair of LouBoutins.

People from New Jersey acting crazy. If you’ve never been there, you might think this is the exception and not the rule…and you’re wrong.

Honey Booboo is a poor, fat, white version of the Real Housewives.  No wait, scratch that because on Honey Booboo no one talks shit, no one tries to ruin lives, no one sells stories to the tabloids revealing private family issues to hurt other family members, and no one is physically violent.

When was the last time someone flipped a table on Honey Booboo?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.  Money can’t buy you class (insert royalty payment to Countess LuAnn here).

She’s dancing to a song that she made up in her head. Dear Miss Alana, you are officially the very definition of awesome.

I’m sorry I really don’t understand why it’s seemingly “ok” to level such hatred towards an innocent child.  Isn’t Honey Booboo exactly what society needs?  A large and in-charge young lady who is confident with her own self image?

Attacking Honey Booboo is like saying, “we want a young lady who is large and in-charge who is confident with herself and backs down from no one…but we just don’t want <i> that one </i>

This is the only picture on my blog (to date) that I did not make myself. If this is yours let me know so I can give you credit and join your cause!

I wonder how people would have reacted to the show if everyone on it was a healthy weight.  Same house, same attitude, same fortress of toilet paper…but everyone has a bmi of 20.  I wonder.

You can’t be a coupon superhero without a Fortress of Toilet Paper.

There are a lot of things I disagree with on the show, like “Pumpkin” and her constantly ignored cries for attention.  She seems pretty smart and is intentionally trying to turn herself into the stereotypical “country girl”.  Not really sure who she’s trying to impress but sometimes I think she’s trying to show her mother that she’s the direct opposite of her older sister Anna “Chickadee” (the relatively thin, pregnant one).  I can’t be the only one who noticed that Anna is withdrawn from the rest of the family.  Something is “up” there and I can’t quite put my finger on it, but “Pumpkin” has and she wants to make sure her mother knows that she’s the polar opposite of her sister.

“Pumpkin” gains weight intentionally while everyone is on the diet, runs around barefoot, tries to burp the loudest etc.  There’s nothing wrong with being yourself but Pumpkin makes sure everyone notices her doing these things.  I doublt she burps out loud when she’s alone.  One day she’s going to wake up in her 20’s and realize that she should have just stood up and said, “I want to go to college.”

One last thing:

I’m not buying the whole “dumb redneck stereotype” thing…I wonder how many viewers had to google “what is an obtuse triangle” after this. Mmmhmm, I’m on to you.

Mama June is smarter than the part she plays on tv…and she’s got the nicest looking forklift foot I’ve ever seen.  Seriously.  Don’t google it, just trust me when I say she’s pretty damn lucky.


One comment on “Honey Booboo Haters and the Fortress of Toilet Paper

  1. Meanish
    May 24, 2013

    Miss Undercity – Love your witty-keen talent for calling a spade a spade. Great blog – you’re a riot! :)

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