RHONJ Finale: Bomb was a dud (sort of)!

Wow.  Just wow.

NOOOO! You were supposed to start crying and I’m supposed to console you and you’re supposed to tell me not to tell your husband and I’m supposed to be able to blackmail you into gaining 50 pounds and slashing your vocal cords while babysitting my kids so I can sign bottles of hair spray in Hoboken!

I’m actually speechless but I’ve got so much to say, where to start.

Well let me start by saying Theresa never fooled me.  Just like a couple of other ‘housewives’ on different shows never fooled me.  Unlike the later, however, I disagree with miss Caroline…Theresa is not a sociopath, she is a textbook narcissist.

Not the funny haha vain kind of narcissist, the terrifying kind that fools many and infuriates the few who see right through them.  Kind of like a sociopath but rather than…well now the more that I think about it the way she has latched onto Melissa Gorga is quite sociopathic.

This woman won’t rest until Melissa is dead in a ditch somewhere (preferably after getting fat and poor).

The part that makes Theresa a narcissist rather than a sociopath is that the sociopath doesn’t care if everyone knows they were responsible for ruining someone’s life.

The narcissist wants to ruin someone’s life but walk away with everyone thinking the narcissist was the victim and that the true victim was actually a horrible person who got what she deserved after the long suffering narcissist was finally able to ‘expose’ the true victim.

In essence the narcissist causes problems from which she can walk away the martyr.  Theresa tried to do this with the poorly executed ‘exposé’ at the posche fashion show.

Clearly, in the bathroom, Melissa didn’t react as expected.  Theresa expected Melissa to be upset, angry and irrational so that she could jump in and play the ‘comforting sister-in-law’.

When Melissa brushed it off and said it was no big deal because it was a lie, Theresa had to go into ‘improv’ mode…which she isn’t very good at by the way.

Rather than acting like a normal person would (saying, “lol ok just makin’ sure ur ok, let’s go finish dinner”) she kept repeating the same thing over and over, trying to work Melissa up into a state where Theresa could then ‘console’ her.  Instead Melissa said ‘I’m calling my husband!”  Well looks like Theresa just met Murphy’s Law.

I’m going to wager the ‘rehursals’ had the evening going one of a couple ways:

1.  They’re all sitting at the table, baldy walks up, says, “Hi Melissa, remember me?” and she freezes, acts like she doesn’t know him or tells some stupid lie.  Theresa jumps on this and exposes Melissa as both a liar and a stripper, acting like she has ‘been the long suffering sister-in-law who was right all along’ about Melissa.

2.  They’re all sitting at the table, baldy walks up, says, “Hi Melissa, remember me?” and she freezes, acts like she doesn’t know him and runs off to the bathroom distraught after he walks away.  Theresa jumps on this to play the comforting sister-in-law while acting incredulous at the whole ‘unexpected’ turn of events but not before insinuating she has ‘been right all along’ about Melissa.

The way Melissa handled baldy was with honest grace.  Theresa’s bald firework was a dud.

She had to stalk Melissa to the bathroom in order to salvage the plan!

If Theresa wasn’t involved or didn’t have a ‘part to play’ her heart wouldn’t have been “racing 500”.  When baldy walked away that would have been the END OF IT.  Period.

Enter the real reason anyone goes to that rediculous fashion show (wait you mean it’s not because people want to see the same polyester lycra stretch knit dress over and over?):

Subliminal iPhone advertising or secret TMZ source?

…to take pictures and video of the housewife drama and sell it online before the season airs…  Duh.

As far as I’m concerned that Kim lady owes BRAVO money for the advertising.

*rolls eyes*

Compare Melissa’s Blog regarding the evening with Theresa’s Blog.

Theresa’s blog reminds me of a very calculated (but unnecessarily wordy) first year law student brief.  She makes a case here that wouldn’t have to be made if she were innocent.

The narcissist is the person who will be angry as fuck if you don’t believe their story.  They don’t believe it but making you believe it is pretty damn important.

Deal with a narcissist in the same manner you would handle a sociopath.  Do not play, you can’t win and they lack the capacity to ‘learn a lesson’, do yourself a favor and simply walk away.

I’d like to be a fly on the wall when Theresa tells her parents that she was involved in a plot to call the mother of their only grandson a stripper at a fashion show in New York.  Who am I kidding, she’ll probably tell them Melissa did it to her!

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