MissUndercity

RHOC: Slade and Jax lying, Lydia still awesome…and why does Gretchen keep Jack Daniels in the fridge?

Shit, why would ANYONE put whisky in the fridge?  Seriously Gretchen, why?!  Anyway…

Lydia does a very good job of summing up Tamara’s behavior at her own party:

“Vocal is like, expressing your feelings…you were straight crazy!”

Hahaha still loving Lydia and how OPEN she was sitting across the table from Tamara and Heather.

Tamara:  “Are you Alexis’ friend?”

Lydia:  “Yes”

No tea, no shade, no excuses…just a simple, “Yes.” I like that.  Lydia’s not playing to impress anyone and she’s not trying to be liked, she’s just being herself and it’s pretty damn cool.

…and OMG her hippie fairy mom is FABULOUS…apparently stoned moms can’t say no (to shopping with their clever daughters, that is).

“God created marijuana, man, it’s been here since, like…the year ‘Q’”

HAHAHA this woman and Mama Elsa from RHOM need a spin off show STAT!!!

RHOC Lydia's Mom used to be a tree

Lydia was very open about her mother getting stoned, dropping acid and spending the majority of her childhood believing herself to be a tree. Note to self, read Tolkien while dropping acid…

Jax is the new Slade Smiley?

I can’t believe I haven’t seen this before…doesn’t Slade and Gretchen remind you of Jax and Stassi?

I mean Slade is Jax +20 years…right down to the forehead wrinkles when he’s telling a stupid lie.

Gretchen is Slade’s long term investment meal ticket…you know, the one that he knows he can always go back to.  Jax parties in Vegas…Slade parties in New York.

Right now he’s holding his son’s surgery and recovery over Gretchen’s head like, “The only reason life sucks right now is because my son is in this state…”

Let me translate that for those of you who are new to manipulative lazy people, “If you break up with me you’ll look like a horrible person because I’m just trying to take care of my dying son…”

RHOC Slade Smiley and Vanderpump Rules Jax lying face

Slade Smiley (left) on the left and Jax (right) from Vanderpump Rules make the same face when they’re lying…

He’s so focused on his buzzwords every time he talks to Gretchen…baby, son, married, life together, and selling the Gretchen the fantasy…a fantasy that is sooo frustratingly out of reach because of this or that…as her biological clock tick tocks…

His goal?  To wear her down to the point where the only thing keeping her from walking down the aisle and assuming 50% ownership of his shiny interest accruing debt is her own fear of monetary insolvency…

…at which point he’ll say some shit like, “you’re going to miss out on living your dream because you’re afraid of money?  you only live once, you have to trust me…”

RHOC Gretchen Rossi in Glasses

This is Gretchen Rossi’s ‘not buying it’ face…the minute she stops lying to herself the relationship will be in trouble.

Gretchen, you keep waiting for the chance to be happy, waiting for everything to be right.  Did it ever occur to you that Slade is wasting your time on purpose?  No, his kid is not ill because of him…but he is patiently waiting until you reach a point where you’re so desperate to have a kid that you just say “fuck it” and marry him.

What’s amazing to me is that the child’s mother is allowing Slade to grandstand about the child’s condition on television…if I were her I’d be filing some big fat fucking injunctions…you know, like Adrienne did to Brandy in RHOBH (oh you really thought they were talking about surrogacy?  bullshit.)

HA!

That being said, I do see why Gretchen and Slade get along so well…they’re both the same kind of person it’s just she’s not as smart as she thinks she is.

She thinks she’s playing the game with Slade…but to Slade she’s just a mark, and he’s very good at fluffing an ego and playing beta to get his way…she’s just too self absorbed to see it.

Ooooo Gretchen wise up.  You’re looking like Stassi 2.0

Something has kept you from letting your guard down so far…it’s called instinct.  Don’t second guess yourself, that little voice in the back of your head is right…

Oh, and I wasn’t joking…why the fuck would you keep whisky in the fridge?  Seriously…just wondering.

RHOC Gretchen Rossi Jack Daniels in fridge lol

Stop bullying Jack Daniels!

For the record I drink my whisky neat.

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5 comments on “RHOC: Slade and Jax lying, Lydia still awesome…and why does Gretchen keep Jack Daniels in the fridge?

  1. oh no pepper
    May 9, 2013

    Jack in the fridge?? When I saw that I kind of questioned my sanity. She acted as though it was so normal…but it’s not…right?! I thought for a second maybe she’s one of those people that keep booze all over the house and the closest bottle just happened to be stashed in the refrigerator. I’m not trying to imply that she’s an alcoholic but whatever. Lydia is great, I really like her so far.

    • MissUndercity
      May 10, 2013

      Lolz, I don’t think she’s an alcohol stasher but keeping whisky in the fridge is far from normal (and a crime in the whisky world…). I’ll bet it’s Slade’s idea, HA!

  2. cinamac
    May 12, 2013

    They probably keep red wine in the refrigerator too!!!

  3. Cleo
    May 13, 2013

    I don’t know if I like Lydia, it kind of seemed to me she was stabbing Alexis in the back at that lunch/dinner or whatever.

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